Monday, February 12, 2007

Breaking News: Dr. Matt, Anna Nicole, and Our Baby

Well, I figured it was about time to come clean and finally reveal that I am the father of Dannielynn, the child that Anna Nicole (I actually called her "monkey"; it's a pet name) birthed Sept. 7, 2006. All the news outlets and tabloids keep speculating about who actually is the father. Well, they all have it wrong. I won't reveal the details, yet, of how Monkey and I met (and the ensuing romantic endeavors). I'm waiting to give my exclusive to either 60 Minutes, People, the Outdoor Channel, or Mad Magazine.