Saturday, February 17, 2007

Britney Spears Goes Bald

Britney Spears sported a newly shaved head when she dropped by a Los Angeles tattoo parlor and quickly drew a crowd.

Friday, February 16, 2007

Hardaway Banished for Anti-Gay Remarks

The NBA has banned Tim Hardaway from this weekend's All-Star game festivities in Las Vegas because of anti-gay remarks he made earlier in the week. Hardaway said: "I hate gay people. Let it be known, I don't like gay people."

NBA commissioner, David Stern, explained why, "We acted immediately, we told him he couldn't do anymore work for us because his views don't represent our views."

A transcript to Hardaway's rant can be found here.

Air America Gets New Ownership

Air America is a wonderful and brilliant outlet for the truth and progress, but they really dropped the ball when it came to developing a long-term profitable business plan. Hopefully the new ownership will get this pro-America outlet on its feet again:

A federal bankruptcy judge on Friday approved the sale of the liberal talk radio network Air America Radio for $4.25 million to Stephen L. Green, founder of a New York real estate firm.

Green and his brother Mark Green — the longtime liberal New York City politician and frequent guest on Air America — plan to continue running the network.

Stupid People Say Stupid Things

"I'm not sure anything went wrong." - Tony Snow on Iraq.

No additional comments necessary.

Thursday, February 15, 2007

More Republic Party Values: Death Threats

The comedy routine known as republic party "morals" just gets better and better. The wing-nuts of all wing-nuts, Pat Robertson, threatened to kill a man.

A plaintiff in a federal lawsuit against Pat Robertson says the televangelist threatened his life and that of his family at a legal proceeding Wednesday in the Norfolk federal courthouse.

The accuser, Phillip Busch, is suing Robertson for misappropriation of his image in the promotion of Robertson's protein diet shake.

According to a complaint Busch filed with the Norfolk police, Robertson entered a room in the courthouse Wednesday afternoon to be questioned for a deposition – an out-of-court form of testimony – and told Busch:

"I am going to kill you and your family."

Olbermann Extends Contract 4 More Years!

Great news! The right-wing MSM gets to keep a liberal voice of reason for 4 more years! From MSNBC:

MSNBC’s flagship franchise is safely locked in place for four more years after “Countdown” host Keith Olbermann and NBC News agreed to an extension of his contract through 2011.

“It (Countdown) is obviously an incredibly important franchise for us,” NBC News President Steve Capus said. “It is something that has really put MSNBC back on the map.”

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Republic Party Values: DUI and Flashing

More upstanding and comedic-like values from the so-called "party of morals":

1) Former Congressman, Joseph M. McDade (R-PA) was issued a summons on a charge of exposure of sexual organs (i.e. flashing), a misdemeanor that carries up to a year in jail and a $1,000 fine. McDade, who is 75 years old, served in the House from 1963 to 1999.

2) U.S. Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia’s daughter, Ann S. Banaszewski, was arrested this week and charged with driving under the influence of alcohol and child endangerment.
I bet both instances are Clinton's fault (Tm).

Happy Valentine's Day Dr. Matt!

A few of Dr. Matt's fans approached me this week, expressing desire to do something nice for him on Valentine's Day. So, the ever wonderful ET wrote this lovely poem, dedicated to Dr. Matt on this Valentine's Day!

You can leave your Valentine's Day wishes in the comments below.

A Sonnet For Dr. Matt

We’ve got a Valentine that we adore.
His name is Dr. Matt, of blogging fame;
He always keeps us coming back for more.
There’s only ONE of him, which is a shame.

His insights make us dizzy with delight,
He wins our hearts with his mysterious eyes.
He slams wingnuttery by day and night
As we read on, and heave romantic sighs.

We love his wit, his charm, his buff physique,
His warm caresses, his incisive brain –
And if for truths more intimate you’d seek?
There is NO standard he does not maintain!

So, Dr. Matt, we send this poem to you,
With Love – your Newshound Valentine ladies true.

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Dick and Lynne Cheney read Valentine's Day Cards

H/t to rawstory.

In a comedy skit from Saturday Night Live, "Dick and Lynne Cheney" read Valentine's Day cards from various admirers.

SNL veteran Darrell Hammond portrays Cheney, complete with familiar facial gestures and monotone delivery.

He reads one Valentine from Cheney's former chief of staff, Scooter Libby, presently on trial: "Roses are red / Violets are blue / If I go to jail / You're gonna go too."

Hammond's Cheney pretended not to recognize Libby's name.

Another valentine from longtime friend Harry Whittington read, "Dear Dick, Remember when you shot me in the face? Well, down here in Texas, when I go anyplace they say there goes the guy Dick Cheney shot in the face."

"That's nice," said Hammond's Cheney.

Mitt Is In: Romney Joins 2008 Presidential Race

In his home state of Michigan, where his father was a three-term governor, the former GOP Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney declared his candidacy for president.

I really, really hope Mitt becomes the presidential choice for the republic party. Mitt is a Mormon and the republic party wing-nuts will no doubt stay home in masses rather than vote for a Mormon. The Robertsons, Falwells, and the rest of the freak show known as a the republic party will soundly distance themselves from a Mormon. GO MITT!!!!!!!

Stupid People Say Stupid Things

"By the way, a lot of us are also very concerned about the possibility of a, quote, 'Tet Offensive.' You know, some large-scale tact that could then switch American public opinion the way that the Tet Offensive did." - Senator John McCain discussing public opinion of the war in Iraq.

Switch the American public opinion? To what? 100% opposed? Looks like Bush has been slipping McCain polls from 2003.

Monday, February 12, 2007

Rudy Giuliani, Cross Dresser

Rudy Giuliani is apparently the best the republic party can come up with. Indeed, the party of religiousfake morals will certainly embrace a former cross dresser as their candidate for the White House.

Breaking News: Dr. Matt, Anna Nicole, and Our Baby

Well, I figured it was about time to come clean and finally reveal that I am the father of Dannielynn, the child that Anna Nicole (I actually called her "monkey"; it's a pet name) birthed Sept. 7, 2006. All the news outlets and tabloids keep speculating about who actually is the father. Well, they all have it wrong. I won't reveal the details, yet, of how Monkey and I met (and the ensuing romantic endeavors). I'm waiting to give my exclusive to either 60 Minutes, People, the Outdoor Channel, or Mad Magazine.

Portugal Pledges to Legalize Abortion

Although a clear majority in Portugal's referendum voted to legalize abortion in the first 10 weeks of pregnancy, fewer than half the electorate voted, meaning the result is not legally binding.

Almost 60 percent of voters approved the referendum allowing women to opt for abortions, while slightly more than 40 percent opposed it. Under Portuguese law, however, more than 50 percent of the country's 8.9 million registered voters must participate in a referendum to make the ballot valid. The turnout yesterday was 44 percent.

SNL: Obama 'Blackness Scale'

Stupid People Say Stupid Things

"We are very fortunate to have President Bush..." - 2008 Republican Presidential Candidate Rudy Giuliani, virtually ending his campaign as soon as it began!

Dixie Chicks Win 5 Grammys: Wing-Nuts Will Explode

The Dixie Chicks won five Grammys at the 49th annual honors, including album of the year for "Taking the Long Way," song of the year (a songwriter's award) and record of the year for "Not Ready to Make Nice".

Prediction: The Wing-Nuts will be in full blown fake outrage tomorrow with their usual "liberal bias", "anti-American", etc., rhetoric. Nonetheless, the Dixie Chicks are a great group and fully deserve their awards.

Sunday, February 11, 2007

Phelps wing-nuttery: God Loves IEDs

Here is an utterly disgusting a TV ad insane proganda from the infamous Westboro Baptist Church Cult led by the subhuman scumbag, Fred Phelps. Phelps The anti-Christ is notorious for picketing at the funerals of U.S. soldier funerals.

I wonder how long it will take before Faux gives Phelps his own program?